Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Miracles and Tender Mercies: Part Two: At the Hospital

I don't remember much about the rest of the ambulance ride.  It was all a blur. I let my eyes stay closed and tried to relax as they gurneyed me through the hospital corridors. I could still feel the gushing.

As they pulled me through to the emergency room, I remember thinking, "I feel very close to the veil right now." Then I prayed for guardian angels to be near.  I felt them near, at least five or six. When I closed my eyes behind the 11 or 12 people swarming around me, I thought I could see a light.  Until my friends arrived that area was, I believe, empty and dark.

Then I began to feel like I couldn't take a deep breath.  It hurt so bad to breathe.  They were asking me questions like "How do you spell your last name?" "How many pregnancies have you had?" "How many deliveries?" "What is your address?" "Date of birth?"

I began to cough and asked for a throw-up bag. They gave me an oxygen mask.  They kept reminding me, "Deep breaths, deep breaths."

I would breathe in and then take off the mask and cough into the vomit bag (nothing came out).    Then answer their questions as best as I could.

I ended up with three IVs in my arms, including a huge one.  They started giving me blood right away. They called the doctor in from his home on my way there.  When he came in he started giving me commands to answer his questions, even though they were the questions I had just answered to his team.  

I asked if I could just fall asleep for a moment.

The doctor asked if I was sick with a cough before I came in  and about when I had trouble breathing and he wanted me to answer every question. I had to repeat myself three or four times out the mask--I felt like I was yelling but it must have been like a whisper.  Everyone tried to be a bit more quiet so he could hear my words.  I gasped for air with each answer and coughed the ending.

Probable too-much-information-moment ahead.  I had had two small scares before--just enough to "fill a pad" and a couple of beefy clots.  The first time we rushed to the hospital and the second I just stayed home and put my feet up (which my doctor told me I should have come in for). With placenta previa bleeding at any scale is no joke and should be monitored closely by trained health professionals.  I tend to think in a I'm-as-healthy-as-a-horse mentality and that they'll just send me home and I"ll have wasted a whole day being checked out--which is normally my experience in general.

My friend, Stephanie came into the room and was able to come near enough to let me know she was there and to pull the hair away from my eyes.

The doctor told me that they were probably going to need to do an immediate c-section.  The problem was that the bleeding had not stopped and that there was a chance I would lose the baby because they were not prepared to take on a baby at 29 weeks and that another hospital would be better prepared for that.
With the first bleed I had a couple of months ago, I was given a blessing and before the words were even out of W's mouth I knew that everything was going to be okay.  I knew that our baby boy would be born later and that he would be safe.  Then the words W spoke confirmed it.

I remember praying that if it was my baby's time to go would I be able to have the faith to move forward?  Was he too perfect for this life? Was he needed beyond the veil?  But, I remembered what I had felt during the other scare and knew this baby is needed on this earth and that he has a special duty he needs to perform in this life.

It felt like 30 minutes as they searched for a pulse for my baby boy.  There was nothing and it was all I could do to gulp down air and pray. He'd been kicking like crazy in our first ambulance ride ever.

Then they brought in the ultra sound and with relief and yes, joy, the sonographer said, "Oh he's fine, he's jumping around and kicking like crazy."

That was the sweetest breath of relief for me.

Somewhere in here the bleeding abruptly stopped.  The gushing stopped.  I am sure there were a few residual glops, but the gushing was no more.

The room began emptying of the swarm of angelic health professionals.  I had received two units of blood--W thinks I lost around 35-40% of my blood. The baby, so it seemed, had taken what he needed and was doing well.

I kept thanking everyone.  I knew they had gone to many years of schooling to be where they were and probably through a lot more. I wanted them to know it was worth every late night studying, school loans, and other anguish known well to health-care-professionals.Right then, at that moment, they were saving my life and the life of my sweet infant! Honestly, I couldn't thank them enough!  They truly were angels in my eyes.

After I had gone from the high school, they finished the dress rehearsal of Oklahoma.  Terri Krebbs and Sarah Reid came to see me when it was over. It meant a lot!  I was so thankful to see them.

An ambulance was ordered to take me to a hospital nearly an hour away with the facilities to care for such a pre-term baby.   Right before I left Greg Hoggard, our home teacher, came from Albany and he helped W give me another Priesthood blessing, which gave me great comfort and helped me to know that everything is going to be okay.  The words in the blessing and the comfort were similar to the first time we went in for that first bleed.

Two nurses came with me, to check my vitals and to help all they could. One was 39 weeks pregnant. They were so kind and dear.  I felt impressed to stay awake and talk to them.  So I did.  I was so grateful for them!  The EMTs were so kind and gentle too. I had to move onto my side part way through and they made sure I was safe and buckled.

Now I am at the hospital with one of the best NICUs in Oregon, every person I interact with has been so kind! Each nurse hurries to help me--even though what I usually need is a refill for my ice water. My doctor is a delight to talk to and answers my questions without any condensation and complete understanding.

I am pretty much bed bound with the exception of the ten feet to the toilet.  They think I will deliver within the week, but I am praying to hold out until 34 weeks (or more).

I have received emails and facebook messages of support and love. I know we have many people offering prayers and support.  Dear friends are watching the kiddos, food will be coming to my house and I feel immensely blessed!

This time I am going to let you count the miracles and tender mercies because I feel like there were too many to count and am finding out each day there were more that I didn't even know about.  I am going to remove the comment section for this since it has been a personally very holy experience.

"Thank you!" are the two words my mouth will not stop saying since this has begun.  I know I am being blessed. I know that you will be blessed as well, when you ask, in true faith, to see the little miracles in your life.

To you dear readers, thank you! Thank you for reading this! Thank you for your prayers in my and my baby's behalf!  I cannot tell you how much it means to me!