Monday, April 25, 2016

Deliberate Parenting: Goal Setting

Summer is just around the corner, not that I am counting (okay, I am and so are the kidlets) the days until school is out.  I have decided that this summer I am going to plan what we are going to do and what we, the kiddos and I, want to accomplish.

I have a list for them.  It's my list of things they are going to do to prepare to become successful adults.  I have been scouring a book called The Parenting Breakthrough, a Real-life Plan to Teach Your Kids to Work, Save Money, and Be Truly Independent by Merrilee Browne Boyack.  If there was a book that I would love downloaded into my head (other than the scriptures) this would be one of the top options.

It has fabulous quotes in it like this one from Elder Dallin H. Oaks:
Families unite when they do meaningful things together. Children should work together under the leadership of parents.  Common employment, even on a part-time basis, is valuable. So is a family garden. Common projects to help others are also desirable. Families may establish a perpetual missionary fund. They can research and write family histories and share them with others. They can organize family reunions. They can educate family members in the basic skills of living, including managing finances, maintaining property, and broadening their general education. The learning of languages is a useful preparation for missionary service and modern life.  The teachers of these subjects can be parents or grandparents or other members of the extended family. ("Parental Leadership in the Family," Ensign, June 1985, 7).

Sister Boyack says: "If you place a serious value on the things your kids learn and do at home, so will they. If you treat those things as a last priority, so will they."

I also love that she emphasizes that it will never be perfect, so not to expect it.  She also says there will be times that we, the parents, need to take a moment to depart from the cacophony of murmurs, whining and such and go someplace hopefully a little quiet to give ourselves pep-talks, remind ourselves that we are training them to be self-sufficient adults, straighten our shoulders and walk out confidently and assured that no matter the groaning awaiting us that we can keep our voices level, matter-of-fact, and determined (this is one of my personal goals so I don't match the whining and groaning-haha).

Would you like to hear some of the things that the kiddos are going to be working on?  Goal writing/keeping, journal writing, scripture reading/pondering, learning to do own laundry, clean entire bathrooms, plan and make meals, straightening drawers and cupboards, planting garden and weed wacking, developing their own reading program, learn cursive (ouch--school systems are hurting the family history indexing process, pretty soon cursive or script is going to be like a secret writing), personal clothing shopping (deal finding, budgeting, getting what is needed), ironing, mopping.


S desperately wants to have a bake sale since she has learned she loves the feeling of a job well-done when she earns money.  In order for her to do this she must train to learn to plan and make meals--I think she can do this already, but I want to be sure.  Meal assignments will be made this summer.  She earned all the money she needs to go and visit Grandma V this summer and I'm hoping maybe Grandma will teach her to sew a little (she'd love love love that because she basically loves doing anything with Grammers V and Grandma O).

The chores are going to be a little heavier too.  We're going to make rotating assignment (setting the table, emptying the dishwasher, etc.).

Adding to the list of chores I would love to have them start (again) to learn Spanish.  I'm going to do a little more research on that to find out some good ways.  My friends said they learned English when they came to the US by watching Sesame Street and another friend said she learned by watching soap operas in Spanish (haha--not for this family--enough drama thank you very much).  

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