Monday, January 5, 2015

Scheduling with Children

Is it just me, or do you ever feel like when you make plans with children you have to add an addendum that states, "unless there is a horrendous storm, someone is sick or exhausted or throws a monumental fit that may cancel our ability to come?"

I know several mothers that seem to be able to manage children through all of those things and seem to be able to handle events no matter what.

I am not one of those mothers.

I am also not one of those mothers that if I really want to do something with your and your kids that I will absolutely every time fall through.  I know some moms like that and after the third fall through for them, I just count it that they are too busy or something--unless they do the asking.

Normally I am the one doing the asking. I am just fine with that.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about other mothers. I am just saying that we are all different and we all operate at our own levels.

One time when R was 3-4 he was in a play-school group that met a mere ten blocks away in Manhattan.  It was easier to walk than to drive because there was no parking spots closer and we normally parked closer to the place than to our house anyway.

There was a huge snowstorm happening and I had to bring two children both crying loudly in the snow (slippery, wet, cold, and miserable). I got halfway there when I essentially predicted that no one else would make it because I was doing all I could to get to the building and only half way there was on the verge of tears myself--how could anyone else make it there?!  Well, I was very wrong.  I think I was in charge of teaching that day too and I couldn't get anyone to answer my calls.  Later, when I finally got us all back into our apartment shivering and cold and probably with my small ones still crying, I got the where-on-earth-are-you-we've-been-waiting-for-you call.

Then, I felt about the size of a pea.

These are about the only photos that survived multiple computer break-downs of that apartment.
All I am asking is that we need to take a step back and realize that we're each doing our best, and to be easier on ourselves and on others.  If they are truly your friend, they will want to get together to do something and will strive to make plans with you. If not, enjoy the people that can and will do fun things with you.

Now, I have to change the date of a dinner that I was excited about.  It's a learning process, folks.

Addendum:
My dear Mother-in-law let me know this wasn't too clear, I love it when people I trust let me know when I need to clarify.  It means a lot to me!  Yesterday night, K, you went to sleep at about 2 a.m. after crawling on me and then crying.  You wouldn't let me put you down all day and I was exhausted.  So I blame my brain fog on that.  Also, I felt a little bad that I hadn't checked my schedule properly and had to change somethings around.  Writing about it seemed like a good idea at the time.  Now I think this push to write each week-day-ly maybe a bit much.

The reason I wrote this is to say that I am learning to be easier on myself and others and I invite you dear readers to do the same.

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