Thursday, March 14, 2013

To S--on Feeling Sick

S, almost every day for the last two months you have told us, specifically when there is something you do not want to do, "I feel sick!" "My tummy hurts!" "My head hurts!"  You usually tell us when it is time do something like practice, go to school/church, pick up a room, help out, etc.  You've even asked me if you could be pregnant--because your pains are like mine.  It seems like when R was your age he went through something similar.  I truly want you to feel good, but because you only tell me that you feel ill when it is time to do something you don't like I have a difficult time believing you. You usually feel great when the task in question is completed.

 You try really hard not to go to the nurse when you feel sick in school. You have been to the doctor a lot the last little while and you've had several tests ruling out many diagnoses. We've talked about things that could be going on in school to rule out your anxieties. 
When I was your age (and older--as my brothers will readily attest) I used the phrases, "I feel sick!" or "I feel dizzy!" a lot. I truly convinced myself that I felt that way--but as soon as the chore at hand was completed I felt fine.  

Our rule is that if unless you have a fever or are throwing up, you are going to school. 

My new goal is to keep silent when my body is not feeling well--in hopes that my non-vocalizing what is hurting on me will encourage you to remember you feel well. Also, I am going to make a better effort to spend time just with you--15 minutes a day--so you feel validated and important. I love you so much. You truly mean the world to me. I want you to feel great!  We can do this!

You in 2007 in Manhattan.
Ideas from other experienced mothers would be greatly appreciated on this subject! :)

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